Gregory woke up as a chair. Not a metaphorical chair. A literal, four-legged, wooden chair. He tried to scream, but chairs don’t have mouths. His wife, Margaret, walked in, saw the chair where Gregory should be, and sat down to read a book. He wanted to tell her, but he was a chair. Days passed. Margaret started dating a new man named Carl. Gregory hated Carl. Carl spilled coffee on him. Carl called him “a sturdy old thing.” <\/p>\n
One night, Margaret whispered to Carl, “I miss Gregory.” <\/p>\n
Carl shrugged, “He was kind of stiff.” <\/p>\n
Gregory seethed. Weeks later, Margaret moved out. The house echoed with silence. Gregory thought he would rot there. <\/p>\n
Then, the new family moved in. The little girl sat on him and whispered her secrets. She imagined him a wise old storyteller who kept monsters away. Gregory couldn’t speak, but if he could, he would have said: <\/p>\n
“Thank you.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Some chairs have stories to tell.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":836,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_wp_convertkit_post_meta":{"form":"-1","landing_page":"0","tag":"0","restrict_content":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-837","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bizzaro","category-fiction"],"_wp_attached_file":null,"_wp_attachment_metadata":null,"_thumbnail_id":"836","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/837","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=837"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/837\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/836"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=837"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=837"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/storyisinfinite.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=837"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}