Gregory woke up with an ear growing from his forehead. By lunchtime, it had migrated to his chin. His coworkers politely ignored it. By Friday, he had three extra ears, all shifting locations every few hours. His boss called him in.
“Gregory, this ear problem—it’s distracting your coworkers. We need normalcy here.”
“I can’t control them,” Gregory said. “They just keep moving.”
His boss slid a pamphlet across the desk. “Corporate offers voluntary ear stabilization.”
That night, Gregory stared in the mirror. One ear perched on his collarbone, listening to his heartbeat. Another nestled on his temple, twitching at the wind. He liked them. By morning, he decided. He walked into work without the pamphlet.
No one spoke to him at lunch. By next week, his desk had moved to the basement. By next month, he was gone.
They hired a man with perfect ears.
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